Casino

Back when my wife and I started dating, I had to take a work-related trip to Las Vegas. I took her along.

When we got off the plane and got the rental car, we didn't go check into the hotel or start gambling right away. Instead, we went to In-N-Out Burger, because that's what you do when you go to a town with an In-N-Out Burger. (This will have a point in a moment.)

Back up a bit. When we got off the plane, I noticed this weird, acrid smell, like tobacco and alcohol, but also cheap leather, cheap perfumes and after shaves, and industrial cleaner. Nothing smells like Las Vegas. Riverboat casinos kind of capture the smell, but fall short. Las Vegas has an odor.

When we went to the hotel, I was hit with the smell once again. The room was okay, but as soon as we stepped into the hallway, the smell was back. Buffets, casinos, sidewalks...smelly everywhere.

In-N-Out Burger was basically the only place in town that didn't have the smell. So next time you go to Vegas and get hit with the smell, know that In-N-Out Burger will be your refuge. Plus, those are some good burgers.

What movie did I watch? Oh, yeah.

Casino is not Martin Scorsese's best film. This one isn't even his best movie about mobsters, or even his best movie about mobsters and starring Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci. But Casino has its own allure. Three hours just fly by.

With this viewing, I'm noticing a lot more humor than ever. Or maybe I'm just laughing at stuff I shouldn't find funny, like when they break the cheater's fingers — but only after they find out whether he's a righty or a lefty. Or maybe when De Niro and Don Rickles take off driving in De Niro's busted car. Or maybe I'm just punchy because I've been up for 20 hours.

When Casino was released, at the time the film contained more uses of the word "fuck" than any other motion picture, beating Menace II Society and Scorsese's own Goodfellas by more than one hundred F-bombs. You can also hear not one, but two Devo songs on the soundtrack. I mean, F-bombs and Devo? Why aren't you watching Casino right now?

Your only possible excuse is that you are going to get In-N-Out Burger.