Chasing Amy

I was so disappointed with Chasing Amy back then.

Bad '90s music. Bad '90s facial hair. Bad '90s PC education. I didn't want my perceptions challenged. I didn't need to know the answers to these questions. Everywhere I went throughout the '90s, there was some weirdo trying to get my acceptance. I didn't need the same thing at the movies. Where were Jay and Silent Bob? Where were Dante and Randal?

God, I didn't need this movie. I was tired of everybody's uniqueness. Let's all get to college, and before we unpack, it's time to experiment — hair, clothes, weird diet, smoking, sexuality — like sexuality was a lifestyle choice to lump in with the rest? Even then I knew that was bullshit, and I was the naive one.

I didn't want to see any more piercings. I didn't want to see any more people smoking. I didn't want to see any more fucking goatees. Of course, then I grew a goatee of my own and probably spent hours in some car or some dorm room trying to talk some girl into liking me. At least I wasn't smoking or chasing lesbians. I knew better.

Ben Affleck's endless monologue in the car didn't sit right with me the first time I saw this film. Joey Lauren Adams gets her own miles-long monologue outside the hockey rink. Both of them go on and on and on and on and on. Shut up!

I didn't need Kevin Smith to tell me how to think about gay people. I didn't care. Do your thing, I'll do mine, everybody's happy.

I know these things now: Life is not perfect. Life will never be perfect. You partner will never be perfect. You are better off knowing very little about your partner's history. Just love each other and get on with it and stop overanalyzing everything (in your relationship anyway).

What did I know then?

This movie hit really close to home because I was exactly the type of guy who would ask some girl about her "history" and then feel all terrible and angry once she answered. I was exactly the type of naive farm boy who didn't understand homosexuality and had stupid questions that I eventually got bold enough to ask (not before prefacing all of them with the whole "forgive me for being a naive farm boy" approach, and thankfully my friends were patient enough to answer without judging me). I learned a lot from those miles-long conversations with friends. I had to. I grew up in a corn field. How was I supposed to know anything about anything?

Maybe that's why I didn't think this film was very good. I got answers, sort of, but I also had to look at a reflection of myself asking those things, and I didn't like myself. I still don't think this film is a masterpiece. From a filmmaking and writing standpoint, this film is a mess. But because of the themes Smith tackles, he seems to receive a great deal of lenience. He should. Few filmmakers brought these kinds of themes into the mainstream. If not for Kevin Smith, we would have a lot more homophobic fanboys.

I'll never love Chasing Amy as much as Clerks or Mallrats. But this film changed me, maybe even more profoundly than any of his other films. Maybe. You don't need to know everything.

p.s. Banky wears Airwalks. I miss Airwalks. I told my wife I wanted my old Airwalks back. I even found Airwalks online (you can get Airwalks at Payless now?!?!).

Wanna know why my wife said? "Yeah, but you can't get 1994 back." It was 1996. Shows what she knows.