The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Ordinarily, the films I discuss here prompt some sort of personal storytelling, but in this case, no, I am not going to tell you about how I lost my virginity.  That story is too short.

Instead, I'm going to admit another kind of folly: my own lack of command over the alphabet.  If 300 and 10 Items or Less are ahead of the letter "A," then why isn't this film?

I think back to the time when I started this project, all that time ago, and the person I was then.  Things were different in those days.  I didn't have as much experience with alphabetizing.

The night I started this project, I was so excited.  Finally, after all those years of waiting, I'd decided that particular night in January was going to be "the night."  I had everything planned out.  I even announced my plans to my friends.  They were supportive, even cheering me on.

The night was going to be perfect.

I went home from work and I had a nice dinner.  I believe I had a glass of wine to relax.  But the anticipation was killing me.  I couldn't really wait.

Unfortunately, that was the problem.  I was so excited, I jumped the gun.

Looking back, yeah, I didn't know what I was doing.  I fumbled around and started this project and ended up getting stuff all out of order, and there was some awkwardness, some instant regret.  When I clicked "Publish," I knew I couldn't go back.

You can't have two "first entries."

I wish I could go back to that night and do things in the right order, to prove to myself and to others that I got better at alphabetizing.  But you can't go back and get a do-over.  What's done is done.  Oh, I could back-date this entry, but you can't turn back time.  And I would still know the truth about my own dubious skills.

Sometimes, a guy just has to keep on moving forward and hope that nobody ever brings up your mistake, your awkwardness, and maybe no one will ever find any writing you may have done about that awkward event on the World Wide Web.