Ben-Hur

I love big pictures. Ben-Hur might be the biggest of all.

Here's a film that runs 222 minutes, spans two DVDs, features a cast of literally thousands, won more Academy Awards than any other film not named Titanic or Return of the King, and more than 50 years on, remains the standard by which all other epics can be evaluated.

Last summer, I blundered across the Four-Disc Collector's Edition in a used section, still sealed, for less than a third of the list price. I couldn't resist. (I may have yelped.)

I was so proud of my find, I took the copy to work, where I showed several people who didn't care as much, but smiled politely and indulged me with noncommittal encouragement. "Hey, that's...something there."

There's a thrill to finding stuff like this — one I find addictive. This is why I still embrace physical media. Anybody can pirate movies. There's nothing special about finding a torrent. Finding a physical copy in deluxe packaging, in pristine condition, at a greatly reduced price? That's like finding treasure. Leaving it there wasn't an option. We're talking moral imperatives here.

Ben-Hur is the kind of film you kill a Sunday afternoon watching end to end. You plan meals during it and invite cinephile friends over to watch and break bread or some such.

Or, in my case, when you're too busy to lose a whole day, you spread the film out like you're reading a novel and drive your wife nuts because it monopolizes the television for days. Except when "Lost" is on, of course.

The original novel on which the film is based, Ben-Hur: A Tale of The Christ, was written by a Hoosier. Gen. Lew Wallace was born in Brookville and later lived in Indianapolis. He published the novel in 1880. Wallace is buried in Crawfordsville. (Just some random Wikipedia facts. You can't use Wikipedia on research papers, kids, but you can use Wikipedia when you write a blog.)

I have a hard time watching Ben-Hur without thinking of Monty Python's Life of Brian, though, especially with all the anti-Roman talk, but also with the parallel storytelling. While the life of Christ is taking place elsewhere, we're focused on a contemporary, a hero. But instead of watching Judah Ben-Hur and Messala and the kickass chariot race, I keep saying "Wome!" and "Bigguth Dickuth" and "Hail Thaethar!"

But that's me.